Sunday, March 22, 2015

Parking Pickles!

Do You Get Piqued Parking?

     Nowadays parking at our mall can be hazardous to your health. Busier than ever before, the competition for a spot is fierce and certainly not for the weak hearted. As I was waiting (jockeying) for a spot today, I became frustrated as I watched a shopper take his big red bag and pat it down. It looked pristine to me; I have no idea what was on his bag but he certainly took his time. His twenty-something son looked at me twice, not acknowledging me. Growing more irritated, I noticed they were taking out what looked like picnic food to eat. Really! Just wave me on, please.

     It occurred to me that the "parkers" and "parkees" could fit into distinct categories. Here is what I came up with.


Zipsters
These people are truly in a hurry. Their whole life is a continuous fast forward as they zip into a parking space with little regard for others. 

Honkers
The plain rude people who must have grown up  (or wish they had)in a place where frenzied driving is common.  

Against the Grain
Containing a little bit of the rebel, and a little of the maverick in them, these people can give you a scare when they come at you going the wrong way down the parking lane! Of course they are usually the ones with the BIG SUVs or trucks. No matter if someone had their blinkers on while waiting for a space.

Stalkers
These are the people who see a parking space possibility and stop to wait it out. You can observe them craning their necks looking for people leaving, so they can drive up to where they are. Then they wait it out. You will have to wait it out too if you can't get around them!

Teasers
The people who return to their car only to go back in the mall. They are so wrapped up in their shopping experience they don't even bother to let you know they are not leaving. (Really!)

Serious Shoppers
These people are polite enough to let you know they are going back in. They are not interested in feeling a false sense of power.

Me First! 
No matter if someone had their blinkers on or was clearly waiting. 

Crashers
Generally having old cars themselves they don't care if they nick a door or scratch a fender. 

Molasses 
They drive literally one mile/hour looking for a space. Best to avoid them. 

Family Excursion 
Let's all go to the mall! Be careful of these people because they might  not be looking where they are going. Kids can be a distraction. ( I know - been there!)

Lala 'ers
Beware of these people. Most likely they are genuinely nice, but their head is in the clouds. They may just back up without looking.

Car Snobs
Parking at the outskirts of the mall, these people are bound and determined to protect their vehicles from all dings and scratches. Unfortunately for them, this doesn't work at our mall as literally every spot seems to be valuable real estate.

Pay-it-Forward
These are the people you want to encounter. They smile at you while walking to their car. You know they are going to leave. Sometimes they even will back up or do something otherwise to help you slip in to their spot. 

All Business
These people want to get in and get out of the  mall. Again, you can usually tell by their demeanor. Their brisk walk and no nonsense expressions are dead giveaways.

Fortunately, I ended up getting a parking space opposite the Squatters. Certainly they had a right to their spot until they were ready to leave. My only gripe was that they could have let me in on their plans:-)

So, next time you go to the mall - HAPPY PARKING!!






9 comments:

  1. So funny! I never thought of parkers as having different personalities, but you're right, they do. If you think mall parking is hard, have you tried street parking in the city? OMG

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  2. This is great! But this also gave me anxiety reading it because I HATE the mall parking lot! haha. Thanks for sharing!!!

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  3. This is great! But this also gave me anxiety reading it because I HATE the mall parking lot! haha. Thanks for sharing!!!

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  4. This was a really fun post to read because most of us can relate!

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  5. I love your different categories. So true! My biggest pet peeve however, is not in a moving violation but in a parking one. I am so irritated by people who park over the line so that nobody other than a motorcycle can fit in the space.

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  6. A creative post, have to admit that when I got, I'm one of those stalkers. But my preference is to avoid the mall, but sometimes, you gotta go!

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  9. Funny at the concert tons of people couldn't park.

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